I somehow developed an obsession for collecting those magnetic boards for keeping track of your place in patterns.  If you're a knitter, I'm sure you have seen these at least once:

I especially like them for charts.

They were really inexpensive at one time.  I think they were somewhere around 3 bucks (They are now about 6 bucks.) and if I had a coupon, I was in magnetic board hoarding heaven.  At one time, I had about 9 of them.  Many of them were unopened and sitting on my bookshelf with the knitting books.

Why do I need so many, you ask?

Shut up.  You ask too many questions.

Seriously, each project needs its own board.  Duh.  

Do you know that I can only find ONE now?  For the life of me, I don't know what I have done with them.  Maybe they're in a box somewhere and I have forgotten which box I put them in.  I KNOW that I didn't lend them to anyone.  Oh, I just remembered that I gave at least one brand new one away-so that leaves 7 unaccounted for.  Maybe the rest have run away.  Living a life filled with booze and loose women.

If you see seven of these just hanging out on a street corner somewhere, shoot me an email.  Their mama wants them to come home.

Another Free Pattern

Knitters are a generous bunch.

My knitting buddy, Jana, just told me that Laura Aylor is giving us all a free pattern to celebrate her birthday.  Happy Birthday, Laura!  You can get any pattern/ebook for free through Ravelry by entering the coupon code HAPPYBDAY at checkout.  You have from January 11-January 14, 2013. (By the way, Laura is the designer of that famous afghan, Lizard Ridge, from the Fall 2006 Knitty.)

I had a very difficult time choosing a pattern, then noticed that I'd already queued this one back in September:

"City Block Shawl".  Photo from Laura Aylor.

Guess which one I got?

Merry Christmas!!!!

The very generous folks over at Tin Can Knits have given us an awesome Christmas gift: one free knitting pattern.

Go here to get the instructions on how to get a free pattern.  My dears, you will not be disappointed.  There are so many gorgeous designs that it was extremely difficult for me to choose.  I finally chose a beautiful shawl pattern called "Drift" (This pattern also includes instructions for making a square baby blanket using the same stitch.).  

Picture from Tin Can Knits

 I give you permission to copy me.   

You have until January 1, 2013.

No van Gogh

Michaels was having a sale on beginner's art sets a few weeks ago. As I stood in front of the display, I heard the voice of God himself, telling me that it is time to unleash my mediocre dormant artistic abilities upon the world.

How can you NOT listen to God? (He told me to get this set.  At the time, it was $7.99.)

I chose this simple picture from the internet for inspiration. 

I could gripe about all of the mistakes I made (The minor fact that my picture doesn't look exactly like the inspiration...my lines aren't straight, my petals are crooked...blah blah blah.), but I had the best time.  And the colors make me happy.  Like, really happy.

I am proud. 

I know many of you couldn't care less about my masterpiece and focused on those cool cable knit vases. Well, Michaels had those on sale, too. The small vase was $2.50 ($5.00 originally) and the tall one was $2.99 ($7.99 originally).  I've already put the tall vase to work as a needle holder.

 

Twist Collective, Winter 2012

Photo from Twist Collective

The Winter 2012 issue of Twist Collective is up.  That is all. 

Photo from Painting Lilies

I use "StumbleUpon" to look for knitting related websites, and found this one that lists 25 free beginner knitting patterns.  "Beginner" is in the title of the post, however, I think that experienced knitters will also enjoy making these items.  There are plenty of patterns here to chose from, and some would be excellent for holiday gifts.

You HAVE started knitting holiday gifts, haven't you?   

You know, this is the first afghan that I've ever made for myself.  I don't count the one that became mine by default after the guy I crocheted it for broke up with me less than 5 minutes after weaving in the last end.

It was an American flag. He didn't even know that I was making it for him.  I finished the weaving in, he knocked on the door of my hotel room (Long distance thing.  Bound to end.), I tossed it under the mattress to hide it from him, then we sat down and had "The Talk".  It was Christmas Eve.

I became a victim of The Sweater Curse.  But with an afghan. 

"Cables Cubed Throw" from Caron International

This one has the benefit of being made especially for me.  There are no sad break up stories associated with it.  No bad, broken heart juju attached to the fibers.

45" X 60"

 

I've been itching to make myself a cabled throw for quite a while, so you know that I'm in finished object bliss.

I must inform you that there are two versions of this pattern.  The version that exists on Caron's website is different than the version you get as a free pattern from Michaels.  You will get the same look regardless of which pattern you use, however, the braided cable is worked differently between the two patterns. 

Murderer!!!

I was not one of those children who liked to cuddle with dolls while I slept.  As a matter of fact, if there was a doll anywhere near me at bedtime, I would sling its ass in the closet or cover it with something.  I didn't want it looking at me while I was sleeping.  A child has to protect herself.    

In my eyes, all doll faces were creepy.  Especially the ones with the moving eyeballs.

I'd look at a doll with the most angelic face:

She doesn't look "stabby".

And see this:

He could take me in a fight. 

Eventually, I managed to find a snuggling alternative; I'd use pillows instead.  There are no eyes to stare at you, no hands with which to stab you in your sleep.   

I am 39 years old, still snuggle with pillows, and hope that that revelation doesn't make me sound too pathetic.  I've made another pillow from a sweater that I bought from the Goodwill.  I tried it out last night, and it works really well for snuggling.

And I'm still alive.

Pillows from Recycled Sweaters

One minute you're viewing craft projects on Pinterest, and the next minute you've left your desk chair empty and spinning from the speed of running from your computer; to drive to the store to purchase all the supplies for a project that you think is the best you've ever seen in your entire life.

All Pics Enlarge

Pinterest is the reason I bought this sweater from a local Goodwill. I bought it after I saw a link to ideas for different ways to recycle old sweaters.  I almost lost my mind at the sheer "awesomeness" of the rather simple idea of using the fabric from old sweaters to make pillows.  I've wanted to knit myself a few pillows for a while now, and here was a chance to get them quickly without doing all the knitting myself.  File this under, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Here's the back, which ended up being the back of the pillow.

This was a rather small sweater but I bought it anyway because I loved the cable pattern.  I chose to cut along the line in the picture because (1) it would give me the size pillow I wanted and (2) I would only have to sew two seams because I could use the preexisting side seams.

 

I simply sewed the two seams, leaving an opening on one seam to add Poly-fil.  After stuffing the pillow, I sewed it closed by hand. 

 Cool.

This one ended up being a bit lumpy from the stuffing, and I think I would like it better if I used a pillow insert.  I have much more Poly-fil to use, but when it's gone, I'm going to try to make any future pillows with pillow forms.  Although, using stuffing would be good for cases where the amount of available fabric isn't enough to cover one of the standard pillow sizes.  

I will definitely make more of these.   

"Half-ghan"

I always get antsy when I'm near the end of a project. It's because I'm SO CLOSE to being done but it feels like it's taking too long to get there. I really feel like I'm being tortured.

I have started knitting square 11 of 12 and I'm both happy and pissed.  "Happy" because I'm almost done.  "Pissed" because I'm not done yet.

I decided that I would start assembling the finished squares to help deal with this. I figured that if I could see the afghan partially completed that I would be appeased until I can get the knitting done.

Each square has to have a crochet border.  Three squares have to be single crocheted together into a strip, then strips must be crocheted together.  I usually dislike making afghans that have to be assembled: I prefer making them in one large piece.  However, I wanted this afghan so badly that I slapped my dislike away.  It helps that the squares are large and that there aren't many of them.

I have assembled 6 squares and, DUDE, I am pleased with how this is turning out.

Happy I Love Yarn Day!

If you're like me, you're thinking "But isn't every day 'I Love Yarn Day'?"

But today is the OFFICIAL day. The day we get to express our love of yarn without society making us feel all random and crazy.  Because when you make "crazy" official, well, that makes it OK.

The Craft Yarn Council gives awesome suggestions on things you can do to express your love for the stuff.

So, go out and buy a skein...or 15. Those fancy needles you've had your eye on? Today is the day you can buy them without feeling guilty (You need needles to go with yarn. Duh.). And if you're caught sneaking your new stuff into the house by your significant others, raise your bags defiantly to the sky and scream "It's 'I Love Yarn Day', fool!"

I'll be knitting square number 10 of my afghan.  So. Close.

Almost 9

One of my Facebook posts from many days ago would have made a lovely blog post.  Immediately after posting it I thought, "Darn, I should have saved it for the blog."

You're lucky that I have the powers of  "cut and paste" at my fingertips.  I've entered the post below.

Huge dog (pit bull mix?) broke out of his chain and charged at me and Smokey.  I screamed as he charged us. Turns out he wanted to play.

This dog got between my legs so that I straddled him like a f-----g horse. And stood there.

I am wearing a skirt.

I was stuck with trying to dismount the dog while keeping my lady bits from being shown to the world. I was trying to walk backwards to get off of the dog, but he kept moving with me.  In between laughing my ass off and holding my skirt down, the owner managed to pull him from my crotch and re-chained him.

I know you're all wondering, "How does a huge dog find its way between one's legs?"  Well, I'll tell you how.  

At first, the dog was crouched low to the ground while he was passing through my legs to get to my dog.  He stopped midway through, then stood up.  That is when I lost myself in a fit of laughter.  

I remember thinking about the angle at which I could lift my leg and not show people my junk.  This dog was huge and my skirt was short (not "skanky short", but short enough to not want to lift my leg.), so there was no such thing as not showing ANYTHING.  I was either going to have to lift my leg to get off the dog or ride his ass home-preferably to an area behind the bushes in front of my house so that I could privately dismount him.  Which, on second thought, would have only given the neighbors something else to talk about ("What the hell was she doing with that dog behind the bushes?").  That's how rumors get started. 

Ew.

Luckily, the owner was able to gain control of him and I didn't have to show anything.  I once imagined that she's a blogger and wrote a post about how mortified she was that day because she was trying to figure out how to get her dog from between some lady's legs without getting too close to her vagina.  She probably titled the post "But I Don't Know You Like That."   

I'm still determined to get this afghan done. 

I was wasting time on Pinterest and saw a link to a free pattern by Annie Modesitt. It is so beautiful that I want the masses to know about it. Many of you may have already seen it, though. No matter. I'm sure you don't mind looking at this beauty again.

Casablanca Corset (Picture from Woman's Day)

NEW KNITTY!!!!

Picture from Knitty

Knitty Deep Fall Issue is up, baby!

These ladies are so pretty.  I love Ysolda's (pretty lady on the left) work. 

One of these things is not like the others...

Whenever I'm in a group of women that are sharing stories about their children, they immediately trigger memories of similar things that Smokey has done. For those of you who don't know, Smokey is my dog. The cutest sheepdog/basset hound mix this side of creation.

Because I don't have children of my own, my brain immediately goes to the only thing that's sort of similar. I mean, they're both dependents.  Same thing. 


Her: Little Johnny loves eating Cheerios.  
My thought: OMG, Smokey totally does that too! (Smokey LOVES him some Cheerios. Remind me to tell you about the time he damn near ripped my finger off because I was too slow giving them to him.)  

Her: Suzy got poop all over herself.  
My thought: Ugh, don't you hate that?  I had to give Smokey a bath a few times because he got poop all over his tail.

Sometimes, I try to "one up" them.  

Her: Shaquanda can walk now!  
My thought: Smokey sewed me a ball gown yesterday. Found him this morning dyeing shoes to match.

I tend to keep my thoughts to myself because I'm sure people don't want to know that talking about their children made me think about my dog. I figure they'd be kind of insulted.

(I have one more row to knit on square number 7 of my afghan.  It looks just like the one I posted before, so I won't include a picture.)